I think I’m ready


If anyone has noticed, I’ve been MIA the past week. Thats due to the fact that I just lost my big brother, Michael. Michael had been battling a rare brain tumor for the past several years called an ‘Ependymoma’. This type of tumor is usually found in children and is rare in adults. How and why my brother got this tumor, we’ll never know. After several surgeries, radiation, chemo and the last, radiation seeds to kill whatever cells might have been left in his brain. We had hope, he had hope, we kept praying for the cancer to go into remission. Michael was so brave, strong, not once did he complain about his condition, not once did he want pity. He endured so much, with so much hope that he would make it through this disgusting thief. A thief that takes such good people from us. Our family, our friends, our children. My brother and I had a bond like no other, from the time we were children and until his passing to be with The Lord. There was a time where we didn’t talk, which was my decision, due to things I did not agree with what he was doing. Believe me, to this day, I will always regret those years that I cannot take back because I was trying to make a stand. Those years that I missed when he was healthy. But then I realized, the past 2 years that I spent with him battling his cancer, God was giving me that time that I had missed with him. Whether it be when he was healthy or not. I know I had no control over the time we had to spend together, but I am so grateful for the good and bad times that God had given us. He was only 47 years old. I am sharing this all with you because I have been grieving so bad for my brother and I miss him madly. The past several years my mom and I had a routine in visiting him. It was a daily routine for me and a nightly routine for my mom. His wife also endured so much in addition to his daughter. His wife kept the positivity up with him and there is so much more that she endured that I could not even begin to explain and that would take days. But this post is about my love for my brother and his love for me that will never ever leave either one of us. This post is about being ready to get back to writing and trying to keep my sanity. I think writing right now in addition to God is my saving grace in my grieving.

Be well